So, This is What Goodbye Feels Like

Last Updated on March 10, 2023 by Kirsten Raccuia

Dear Friends and Family,

It feels like the sun has set on a season in our lives.

My keyboard is soaked in salty tears. I’m dreading this blog. It’s too real and what I’m about to pen out is heart-wrenching.

This is a love letter to our last 8 years in Malaysia. It’s also a goodbye letter. And it’s the last one.

After 9 months of being away from Penang, Mark and I have decided we can’t live there any longer.

We should have left years ago, but we didn’t because we fell in love with it, we didn’t want to leave, and above all created a family there.

Why we chose to leave Malaysia

I can work from anywhere, and Mark has taken on a remote real estate gig which is very cool. However, he needs to be on the east coast of the US to do it. Or at least be near the east coast time zone.

It’s been very nice being here.

Being able to call my family and friends in the US the moment I think of them is something I took for granted before we left. Reconnecting with friends for a long weekend, instead of a few hours on the way out of town again, is something we cherish.  

When Mark’s 92-year-old dad came home from emergency surgery, Mark flew home to be with him in Connecticut. It only took a few hours. Being able to do that is something we’ve really missed.

We missed a lot of things in the last 8 years that we wouldn’t have missed if we lived closer. It’s a sacrifice we chose. It’s a sacrifice we made. And we know that.

But being able to hop home in a heartbeat is a blessing. As much as we don’t feel like we are done with Southeast Asia, and maybe we’ll be back one day, now’s just not the time. It doesn’t make sense for us to be there full-time anymore.

It wasn’t an easy decision, and we just made it a few weeks ago. So it’s taken a long time for me to wrap my head around it.

The next few months

In June, we’ll be back in Malaysia for a month to sell our things, try to rent out our apartment, and close up shop. I hope to see as many people as we can.

When we came to Penang, we had 2 suitcases each. After 8 years, we have a lot more because we’ve nested. I’m not attached to most of it, but selling all our stuff will kick the dust off some old memories.

I remember where I bought my wok, and why. It was on a Michelle Grimsley tour, and a lovely woman named Deborah helped me pick out the best one.

Every plate I have has memories. It sounds so silly, but I remember when Carol took a bunch of us to the big Mikasa sale so I could kit out our kitchen. Those plates aren’t just plates. They are incredible memories with good friends who took us under their wings, cared for us, and helped get us settled.  

They were our friends from day one, through all the ups and downs and most of the friends we met in our first month of being there are still our good friends today. So those plates mean so much more than what they are. They symbolize friends who turned into family and who we won’t get to see much in the future.

What we’ll miss the most

Mark and I will miss Malaysia differently. We have mixed emotions about leaving.

He’ll miss his hikes, the idiosyncrasies, the people.

If you know him, you know he loves to meet people and hear their stories. I bet he could get a monk to break a vow of silence to tell his story. He returned from his regular hikes with a video of a person or wildlife encounter that he had along the way.

Things like cows on Mt Erskine road creating a long traffic jam or the Indian boys who decided to hook up their carriage to a Brahma bull and take it on a midnight ride. These are the kinds of experiences I know he’ll miss the most.

And I’ll miss those things too. Obviously, not the hikes, but the quirks that come with living in such an irreplaceable country.

But the one thing we’ll both miss the most is our friends, our Malaysia family.

We’ve had friends come and go. But the deep friendships we’ve been fortunate enough to make with people from around the world mean the most to us.

In Chicago, we wouldn’t have the time to meet, let alone fall in love with, our friends from Australia, Canada, Germany, Malaysia, Scotland, the UK, US and Zimbabwe (you know who you are).

Sure, we’ll miss the food, the beautiful land and the monkeys. However, our friends, our family, are what we treasure the most.

What’s next for us

We don’t know where the next year will take us other than out of Asia.

We haven’t decided where we want to live. There is a big, wonderful world out there. So, it may be the US, Mexico, Central or South America.

One big, massive step at a time.

But you guys will be the first to know when we figure it out.

Thank you all for being such a big part of our lives for the last 8 years. You have made Malaysia for us. And we’ll see you on the flip side. No matter where you are or move in the world, be sure to have a second bedroom because we’ll be coming for a visit.

Until the next time, big hugs and much love to you all,

XO,
Kirsten and Mark